I Love Miley Cyrus: Explained

Miley

I love Miley Cyrus.  She’s one of my favorite human beings.  Most people probably think that’s crazy.  Well you know what?  I think you’re crazy.  

If you do wonder why she is one of my favorite human beings, here’s my list.

I like her music.  

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Honest statement: BREAKOUT is one of the best teeny bopper albums ever.  So there’s that.  BANGERZ is one of my favorite pop albums in recent years.  It’s incredibly energetic, sexy, and all-around fun.  There are many people who hate her for her music.  There were also a lot of people who thought Madonna would impregnate their children through the TV screen.  If you don’t like her music, then don’t listen to it.  

#freethenipple

tumblr_msv0ysp4kL1qa42jro1_1280We’ve all seen Miley Cyrus naked.  We’ve seen her make lewd gestures and references.  Shock and awe, baby.  I respect the shit out of it.  If that confuses you, I encourage you to watch my film, EAT, which chronicles the life of a young woman who eats her own flesh.

Art should never be safe.  That’s boring.  The Beatles weren’t safe.  Nirvana wasn’t safe.  NWA was dangerous as fuck.  Pushing the boundaries causes people to pay attention, and paying attention leads to progress.

“It’s like, I know you’re going to look at me more if my (breasts) are out, so look at me. And then I’m going to tell you about my foundation for an hour and totally hustle you.”

As I said above, if you don’t like it, then just ignore it.  Why are you looking in the magazine at the naked pictures if they offend you so?  If you’re concerned about how it will affect your kid, why don’t you talk to them about it?  Why are you relying on Miley Cyrus to teach your kids how to be a good person?  That’s not her job, bro.

Peace, Love, and Avocados

I was born in 1987.  During my formative years as a chubby, pale, four-eyed kid, there wasn’t much variety in the way of female role models.  Fashion trends relied heavily on flat stomachs and flawless stems.  My favorite females looked starved, and the whole lot claimed virginity until their sex tapes started to leak.  Young celebs spent most of their money on drugs, and few survived without at least a few trips to rehab
and a bankruptcy claim.  But I guess they kept their clothes on, right?  

Miley is 6 years younger than me, anbilly-ray-miley-1024d things were pretty similar for her as a teen.  She was one of the perfect teen role models.  And she made a lot of money doing it.  Now she’s a multi-millionaire, and she can do what she wants.  At 22 years old, Miley Cyrus is worth roughly $160 million.  She has a healthy relationship with her family – Billy Ray produced one of her new songs and Mama Trish helps Miley take out her dread extensions when she’s sick.  In 2014, Miley started a non-profit organization to help homeless youth, and has spent the last few years dedicated to bringing awareness and tangible support to homeless and LGBT youth in America.    

Just as importantly, Miley is Miley.  She dyes her armpit hair, she loves being naked, her boobs are small, and she doesn’t like to shower.  And she loves you, no matter what.  People think young girls need role models who practice perfection and promote ladylike etiquette.  They think girls seeing their idols without clothes on will cause them to walk the streets dressed for the club.  I think girls need to see other girls loving themselves.  That’s it.  I needed to know that I should love my body.  I needed to know that someone could be popular and successful without fitting into the current mold.  That’s why I think Miley is a good role model.  No matter how much shock and awe she throws out, she walks the earth with a giant heart, and a noble cause.

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