To the ones who cut themselves opening the mail, The ones digging through receipts – crumpled ones, in a ziplock bag. To the ones who get yelled at for incorrect lunch orders, Or better yet, told how they could do it better. To the ones dealing with the door-to-doors who think they’re so damn funny. To the ones who want to make this face 👆 from 9 to 5. Today is for YOU. Happy Administrative Professionals Day! Buy YOURSELF lunch, leave early, and most importantly, Damn the man.

I am currently emerging from a week-long anxiety hangover. I haven’t looked at social media since it started. I have no idea where in the world my fave celebs are, and the only post I’ve seen was @khloekardashian announcing her baby girl – I still have priorities. My return is still questionable, but I feel I must give props to the cocktail that has kept me alive while I’ve been away. This is my version of a “shout out” track. ————————————— 1. Headspace, for saving my life on the regular. 2. Cardi B & Nicki Minaj, for equipping me with an arsenal of bad bitch music, which helps immensely when you feel far from being a bad bitch. 3. @champagnepapi, for being so one with the female gender that he gave us our own anthem, which I refuse to stop listening to because it is instant happiness. 4. @modernmarket via @doordash for providing me with vital nutrition, on-demand, when cooking was out of the fucking question. 5. Herbivore Botanicals Blue Tansy line, for calming the complete and utter shit show that was my face. 6. Perfect Teeth Leetsdale – for fixing my night guard the same day I called, allowing me to grind away without pain. Seriously, I ❤️ this location. 7. Mary’s Medicinals Muscle Freeze – it’s like Bengay with the healing powers of CBD and THC. And it helps release ALL DAT TENSION in ma shoulders. 8. My childhood BFFs, for sending me what I needed most – pictures of their teeny tiny babies. 9. Finally, shouts out @jimmytheghost, for cleaning the house, doing weeks worth of laundry, and ALL the dishes. And for never using the term “calm down”.