Okay ladies, now let’s get in FORMATION.
“Rebels: City of Indra” by Kendall & Kylie Jenner
Of course I read this book! I had no idea what it would be like, but I gotta tell ya, I was super entertained the whole time. The book is a collaboration between K&K, their manager Liz, and Maya Sloan. It seems odd to me that Sloan is considered a ghost writer when her name is on the first page. Not totally ghosty. But that’s why I love these girls. The first thing they said was “Of course we hired a writer. We can’t write an entire novel on our own.” Because as Kim says, “do what you want, but own up to it.” I love that they did press with their writer, thanked her endlessly, and never denied her existence. But that’s how the K/Js roll.
I think this collaboration worked wonders. If you are fans of these girls, the connection to the characters is immediate and it really is written quite well. The world building is phenomenal – plenty of gnarly post-apocolyptic visuals. And I’ll say that the plot lines were never too eye rolly. We’re not winning pulitzer prizes here people, but we’re keeping the kids reading! It’s unfortunate that the trolls immediately pushed this thing aside because I think they accomplished a pretty big feat. YA novels can get bad, especially when written by disconnected adults, and not every kid is into the classics like this nerd. This book is more about adventure and coming into your own, and less about the pressure of sex and boys who don’t text you back. So suck it, internet. I liked it.
“***Flawless” by Beyoncé
One day I will devote the time it will take to write about why I love Beyoncé so much. In the meantime, let us celebrate her genius through videos. ***Flawless is one of my favorite songs on this album.
First off, the hip-hop rappin Girls Tyme. Second, this video is DOPE. Third, the message of this song is awesome. Beyoncé has given us so many anthems and/or all-time phrases. And here she is again, just GIVING us like three more. Tell me you haven’t used/heard the terms – Flawless, I woke up like dis, or bow down, bitches – in the last year. Why? Because it’s awesome. Do it. Shake your hands in front of your face and say “I woke up like dis!” And then strike a pose and say “we flawless.” Now tell me you’re not feelin’ yourself right now. Fourth, Skeleton Crew.
Bow down, bitches.
PVOTD: “One Man Can Change the World” by Big Sean
Two things: I love Big Sean and I love my grandma. This song about how much Big Sean loves his grandma kills me. Add John Legend and Yeezy singing, and I need like five minutes to recover.
Ain’t nothin sweeter than a boy who loves his gramma.
“Joyland” by Stephen King
Confession: this is the first Stephen King book I’ve ever read. Whatever, I read a lot of books. I don’t feel bad. Anyway, this was a bargain buy. I like to hit up my neighborhood Barnes & Noble every so often to see how sad it is, for one, and to pick up any clearance deals. I judge these books by their covers as they’re often haphazardly stacked on a cart. Obviously this cover was amazing.
Color me really fucking excited when this book turned out to be an emotional rollercoaster of awesomeness. I liked it so much, I immediately mailed it to my mom for her to read. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.
I don’t like to blab on too much in my posts because who wants me to ruin the experience? I will say that this book will make most grown people cry. There is a sense of magic in this book that I haven’t experienced in while. You have an incredibly vivid world full of unique characters, and on top of that, a murder mystery!
PVOTD: “Hotline Bling” by Drake
I love this shit. All day, every day will I watch Drake dancin’ on his own. I also really love the consequent memes happening because of this video. An incredible addition to pop culture as a whole, this one.
If you want to see some Drake memes, click here.
I Love Miley Cyrus: Explained
I love Miley Cyrus. She’s one of my favorite human beings. Most people probably think that’s crazy. Well you know what? I think you’re crazy.
If you do wonder why she is one of my favorite human beings, here’s my list.
I like her music.
Honest statement: BREAKOUT is one of the best teeny bopper albums ever. So there’s that. BANGERZ is one of my favorite pop albums in recent years. It’s incredibly energetic, sexy, and all-around fun. There are many people who hate her for her music. There were also a lot of people who thought Madonna would impregnate their children through the TV screen. If you don’t like her music, then don’t listen to it.
#freethenipple
We’ve all seen Miley Cyrus naked. We’ve seen her make lewd gestures and references. Shock and awe, baby. I respect the shit out of it. If that confuses you, I encourage you to watch my film, EAT, which chronicles the life of a young woman who eats her own flesh.
Art should never be safe. That’s boring. The Beatles weren’t safe. Nirvana wasn’t safe. NWA was dangerous as fuck. Pushing the boundaries causes people to pay attention, and paying attention leads to progress.
“It’s like, I know you’re going to look at me more if my (breasts) are out, so look at me. And then I’m going to tell you about my foundation for an hour and totally hustle you.”
As I said above, if you don’t like it, then just ignore it. Why are you looking in the magazine at the naked pictures if they offend you so? If you’re concerned about how it will affect your kid, why don’t you talk to them about it? Why are you relying on Miley Cyrus to teach your kids how to be a good person? That’s not her job, bro.
Peace, Love, and Avocados
I was born in 1987. During my formative years as a chubby, pale, four-eyed kid, there wasn’t much variety in the way of female role models. Fashion trends relied heavily on flat stomachs and flawless stems. My favorite females looked starved, and the whole lot claimed virginity until their sex tapes started to leak. Young celebs spent most of their money on drugs, and few survived without at least a few trips to rehab
and a bankruptcy claim. But I guess they kept their clothes on, right?
Miley is 6 years younger than me, an
d things were pretty similar for her as a teen. She was one of the perfect teen role models. And she made a lot of money doing it. Now she’s a multi-millionaire, and she can do what she wants. At 22 years old, Miley Cyrus is worth roughly $160 million. She has a healthy relationship with her family – Billy Ray produced one of her new songs and Mama Trish helps Miley take out her dread extensions when she’s sick. In 2014, Miley started a non-profit organization to help homeless youth, and has spent the last few years dedicated to bringing awareness and tangible support to homeless and LGBT youth in America.
Just as importantly, Miley is Miley. She dyes her armpit hair, she loves being naked, her boobs are small, and she doesn’t like to shower. And she loves you, no matter what. People think young girls need role models who practice perfection and promote ladylike etiquette. They think girls seeing their idols without clothes on will cause them to walk the streets dressed for the club. I think girls need to see other girls loving themselves. That’s it. I needed to know that I should love my body. I needed to know that someone could be popular and successful without fitting into the current mold. That’s why I think Miley is a good role model. No matter how much shock and awe she throws out, she walks the earth with a giant heart, and a noble cause.
PVOTD: “High by the Beach” by Lana Del Ray
Mondays be like…
PVOTD: “Beat Down” by Steve Aoki & Angger Dimas Feat. Iggy Azalea
“There’s a party on your face, and I’m about to dance on it. Bout to dance on it. Bout to dance on it.”
This is two years old, but it’s new to me. I love it so much. It’s hard to pick favorites with Iggy, but this is a contender.
“House of Mirth” by Edith Wharton
I read the first seventy pages of this book the first time I picked it up. It had been sitting on my shelf, looking all fancy, and I finally gave it a turn. Loved it. I was engulfed in the world and caught up in all the drama the whole way through.
I expected controversy when I began this book, but I didn’t quite expect darkness. This isn’t Pride & Prejudice where Elizabeth gets Mr. Darcy in the end. Instead, nobody will marry our heroine, dooming her to a miserable life. But oh the drama! It’s a turn of the century Real Housewives. So many fabulous characters with tragic flaws doing expensive things. Don’t be intimidated by the darkness. This was well worth the read. I’m excited to read the other two novels that come in this adorable set.
MANNIECURES 