PVOTD: Blank Space

We all know how I feel about Taylor Swift.  If you don’t know – I can’t stand her face.  But I can admit when she scores a homer, and this fucking song is a home-fucking-run.  Stop it.

Then Joseph Kahn goes and makes this beautiful video to go with it.  Again, stop it.

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PVOTD: Can’t Stop Dancin’

I love the shit out of pop music.  2014 has been a wonderful, wonderful year for pop music and pop music videos for that matter.  And so, I will share my favorites one by one.  Sometimes two by two.  There are a lot.

Becky G is a gem.  I think she’s the real deal and this is one of the BEST songs of the year.  You know you love it.

Everywhere I go they say, “It’s IGGY Season.”

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I’m starting to like this trend of pop stars reissuing their debut albums (i.e. Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection).  Because really, it’s them saying: “I’m famous now, let me put this together the way I wanted to in the first place, with better producing and guest stars.”  It’s the best of the best of what she’s done so far, plus five new songs that are each too legit to quit.

Well done, Ms. Azalea.  Bow down to a Goddess.

Things I Learned In Switzerland

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I am a lucky girl. Jimmy and I spent five days in Neuchâtel, Switzerland this past July. We were guests at the Neuchâtel International Fantastic Film Festival, otherwise known as NIFFF. We were literally wined and dined the entire time and treated as VIP’s. We are very aware of how lucky we are, and we drank in every single moment of it. While we are excited to be home in our own beds with our waters full of ice, we will never forget our magical trip to Neuchâtel.

Without further or do, here are the things I learned in Switzerland:

IMG_0504Pas Gazeuse.

I am not against sparkling water. I like me some Pellegrino every once and a while. But I sure as hell don’t drink it when I’m so thirsty I want to die. If you know me, you know I’m usually so thirsty I want to die. Europeans have a different concept of hydration. I envy them for only needing the world’s smallest glass of lukewarm sparkling water. I, however, prèfere the world’s tallest glass of ice cold water. It is here where Europeans and I most differ.

Who needs sheets?

Now, I cannot say if this is common, but I experienced it one time, therefore it must happen all the time. Our hotel bed was queen sized, with two curiously folded down comforters. Unfold them and you find two twin sized comforters. Gotta say, this totally eliminates blanket stealing – a common problem for me (I am never the stealer, b-t-dubs). The point is, lying under only a down blanket in a room chilled by fresh air is one of the greatest things in the world.

There’s No Beating Good Manners

The Swiss are officially some of my favorite peoples. I have never had so many friendly faces while travelling. Going to the chocolate shop? They’re happy to not only help you, but will also gladly wrap your chocolates in adorable tissue paper and ribbon for no additional charge. Don’t speak English? No eye rolling here. Either they speak English or you’ll both stutter and signal your way through it. It makes all the difference when you’re jet lagged, sweaty, and just want some damn cold still water and a crêpe.

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Royale with Cheese

Oh, McDonald’s. The one constant worldwide is fuckin’ McDonald’s (not even Starbucks or Wal-Mart…McDonald’s). Here’s what you need to know about Swiss McDonald’s. Yes, they do call it a Royale, and yes, you can get it with cheese. You may also get a Tandoori Chicken Wrap or a Royale with Chili. No, I did not eat Swiss McDonald’s.

AWWW…

Along with the hospitality of the Swiss, comes the adorableness of the Swiss. I can’t tell you how many squeezable people we met with names like Penelope. They speak quietly and melodically, they laugh at most everything, and they have some of the best-behaved small children I’ve ever seen.

Which Brings Us To – Swiss Babies

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – there are few things more adorable than small children speaking French. Don’t believe me? Seek out the documentary “Etre et Avoir” and then call me.

The French Speaking Swiss are not the French

This is not a comment on which I like better, but more another comment on how adorable the Swiss are. We were in Switzerland to show our movie, “EAT.” It is quite a gory movie that has caused moreIMG_0020 than one walk-out. Now the French are pros at this shit. Watch an “extreme” French horror film and you will feel ill. So we were excited to finally play in Europe. However, the Swiss are so damn adorable that it was still a little too much for them. Not many walk-outs, but a quiet and friendly “do you think it might be too much?”

Neuchâtel Is a Fairytale

Ever read a fairytale? Ever seen a movie set in a magical land full of rolling hills, beautiful lakes, and luscious green trees everywhere? Want to go there in real life? Look no further than Neuchâtel. From centuries old buildings, to palaces turned hotels, to cobblestone streets, (to old Cathedrals turned into cinemas) this town will enchant you from day one. Film Festival or not, this place is legit.

Now, here’s a picture dump.

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The Kinsey Millhone 3

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Kinsey Millhone is one of my favorite female characters. So much so that she has become somewhat of a role model for my everyday life. Not familiar with Kinsey? I recommend checking out one of her crazy adventures in one of Sue Grafton’s novels. They’re pretty easy to remember – “A is for Alibi,” “B is for Burglar,” and so on.

Here are a couple highlights on why she is so great.

  1. She’s single and loving it. Not a lot of relationship drama here. Just a lot of short-lived story arcs and one night stands with men who turn out to be murderers.
  2. She is a former cop turned private investigator and she lives in the 80s. Even though it’s 2014 and new books are still being written, Kinsey remains in the 80s where typewriters, card catalogues, pay phones, and live answering services are king. You can’t just Google things, folks. You have to investigate!
  3. She ain’t scared of nothin’! Kinsey has been shot, beat to a pulp, and nearly burned alive. And I’m only on “J.”
  4. She sleeps on the couch. Because who needs a bed?
  5. She sleeps naked. Because who needs pajamas?

There are many more incredible traits that Kinsey Millhone possesses, but I must get to the point.

One thing that always remains the same in every book is Kinsey’s daily jog. 1.5 miles up the coast, and 1.5 miles back. Every day. Kinsey deals with thieves, murderers, and all-around scumbags all day long, and every so often, a girl needs to clear her head. She goes on her jogs no matter how tired she is, because she knows she needs it.

This brings me to me. I, like Kinsey, currently live on a waterfront. She got sandy beaches, and I get a river that smells like fish and has a lot of trash – but for the purpose of this experiment, it’s the same thing. I have charted out my 3 mile round trip. It’s quite convenient, actually, because I’m essentially going to Reagan Airport and back. It’s literally over the river and through the woods.

As the internet is my witness, my goal is to be jogging the Kinsey 3 every other day by the time I return to Denver. Why not every day? Because I’m not Kinsey Fucking Millhone and I haven’t had twenty years of practice.

 

Stay tuned. And go pick up a Kinsey Millhone mystery.