The Kinsey Millhone 3

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Kinsey Millhone is one of my favorite female characters. So much so that she has become somewhat of a role model for my everyday life. Not familiar with Kinsey? I recommend checking out one of her crazy adventures in one of Sue Grafton’s novels. They’re pretty easy to remember – “A is for Alibi,” “B is for Burglar,” and so on.

Here are a couple highlights on why she is so great.

  1. She’s single and loving it. Not a lot of relationship drama here. Just a lot of short-lived story arcs and one night stands with men who turn out to be murderers.
  2. She is a former cop turned private investigator and she lives in the 80s. Even though it’s 2014 and new books are still being written, Kinsey remains in the 80s where typewriters, card catalogues, pay phones, and live answering services are king. You can’t just Google things, folks. You have to investigate!
  3. She ain’t scared of nothin’! Kinsey has been shot, beat to a pulp, and nearly burned alive. And I’m only on “J.”
  4. She sleeps on the couch. Because who needs a bed?
  5. She sleeps naked. Because who needs pajamas?

There are many more incredible traits that Kinsey Millhone possesses, but I must get to the point.

One thing that always remains the same in every book is Kinsey’s daily jog. 1.5 miles up the coast, and 1.5 miles back. Every day. Kinsey deals with thieves, murderers, and all-around scumbags all day long, and every so often, a girl needs to clear her head. She goes on her jogs no matter how tired she is, because she knows she needs it.

This brings me to me. I, like Kinsey, currently live on a waterfront. She got sandy beaches, and I get a river that smells like fish and has a lot of trash – but for the purpose of this experiment, it’s the same thing. I have charted out my 3 mile round trip. It’s quite convenient, actually, because I’m essentially going to Reagan Airport and back. It’s literally over the river and through the woods.

As the internet is my witness, my goal is to be jogging the Kinsey 3 every other day by the time I return to Denver. Why not every day? Because I’m not Kinsey Fucking Millhone and I haven’t had twenty years of practice.


Stay tuned. And go pick up a Kinsey Millhone mystery.